Featured on Radio - I Only Cheat for Chocolate

Appears on Words and Music episode 003


I only cheat for chocolate, said the diabetic dryly.

At times I pinch leftover treats from off the children’s plates.

I like my crisps, of course I do, but I don’t eat them daily.

I show restraint, especially on the school run, while I wait.

I only take a candy bar or two.

An Allsort here, a Humbug there.

I’ll only have a very few.

I only cheat for chocolate, and I only cheat a little.

I only cheat when I can cheat in secret, bite by bite.

I only cheat for chocolate, and I only cheat at weekends.

The cheating is a secret, I’m most secretive at night.

I only cheat for chocolate, and I munch enthusiastically.

Its cocoa dribbles run right down my chin and to my shirt.

A cream egg yolk is what I craved, I stuffed it in quite drastically.

I bought a pack of six, so just one more aint going to hurt.


Its only there a moment on my tongue.

It’s worth it, though. It’s so deelish.

It never lasts for long.


I only cheat for chocolate, and I only cheat a little.

I only cheat when I can cheat in secret, bite by bite.

I only cheat for chocolate, and I only cheat at weekends.

The cheating is a secret, I’m most secretive at night.